


rest now dearheart (we'll be okay)

by Floople_Doople



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Ashe needs it too but like. It shows more with Dimitri here, BECAUSE ITS DIMITRI HOW COULD IT N O T, Based on a Tumblr Post, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Idk how else to tag so LETSGOOO, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sickfic, Someone get this boi some therapy STAT, They fight for all of five seconds fhdjdhdk, more like a rp threaad but SHHH, self-deprecation, uhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25560085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Floople_Doople/pseuds/Floople_Doople
Summary: Dimitri wasn't feeling well in the slightest. But that didn't matter. He would simply push through it.Or: Dimitri doesn't really know his limits. Ashe tries to remind him.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert
Kudos: 36





	rest now dearheart (we'll be okay)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in less than a day. This was meant to be short. What the fuck happened.

Admittedly, Dimitri hadn’t been feeling too well as of late. Though that was largely his own fault. In hindsight, perhaps he should have realized that he was overworking himself. His friends (though he wasn’t sure if he could truly call them that, considering they all deserved much better than he) would certainly tell him so. Or at least, Dedue, Sylvain, and Ingrid would; he wouldn’t know what Felix would tell him these days. Though the reason for Felix’s distant and hostile behavior was his own fault, even he could realize that.

His vision seemed to blur as he took another step towards the training grounds. He tried to shake it off, but that only seemed to make it worse. Oh well. He would simply have to deal with it. The moonlight should have been sufficient - this wasn’t the first time he had gone to train in order to clear his mind...well, at least clear it enough to appear rested the next day.

As he took another step towards the training grounds, trying to ignore how his head only seemed to pound even more furiously with every movement, his thoughts trailed to his beloved. 

Ashe Ubert. 

Goddess, where to begin? He could feel his pain vanishing just at the thought of him. Truly, he couldn’t fathom how lucky he was to have been able to start a courtship with Ashe. Just the fact that Ashe - kind, thoughtful Ashe who always seemed to have a smile on his face for anyone - had returned his feelings at all sent his head spinning sometimes. He hadn’t been able to wrap his head around it then - in fact, he still couldn’t. 

Although, now the head-spinning was a bit literal. He found himself leaning on a wall just to keep himself steady. Pathetic, wasn’t it? The training grounds were just right there, and yet he couldn’t even manage to get that far. How could he possibly avenge the dead when he couldn’t even stand upright…?

“Dimitri - honey, what is going on?” The familiar voice got Dimitri to lift his head, his head protesting at the movement. It took a moment for Dimitri to recognize the figure as Ashe...a very worried Ashe. “You look ill...do you have a fever?”

It took Dimitri longer than he would’ve liked to force himself to reply. “I...I’m alright,” he said, despite his tongue feeling leaden in his mouth and his head spinning rapidly. “I am completely fine...W-Why do you ask?”

Ashe frowned at that. At least, Dimitri assumed he did. Frustratingly enough, his vision swam enough that simply trying to see the features of Ashe’s face was a struggle. 

“You’re pale. Paler than usual,” Ashe commented, raising a hand towards Dimitri. “What’s going on?”

Without really thinking about it, Dimitri shakily brushed Ashe’s hand away. He just couldn’t seem to focus at all. It took even longer for Dimitri to respond, internally berating himself for struggling to simply string a few words together.

“Ashe, what are you saying?” He finally managed. “This is ridiculous. Everything is fine. If I am saying it, then it is true.”

Even though it wasn’t. Dimitri felt a pang of guilt for lying to his beloved, before brushing it away from his mind. Even if he was miraculously worthy of Ashe’s affection _somehow_ , he wasn’t at all worthy of his worry. Ashe had better things to fret over than someone like him.

“Now, enough of this…” Dimitri attempted to push himself off of the wall - only barely managing to stop his legs from giving out from underneath him. “I ought to go train…”

Suddenly, Ashe was standing before him once again. That’s odd. Wasn’t Ashe standing just over there a second ago?

“I can’t let you do that.” There was a determination in Ashe’s voice, before it quickly turned into worry and concern. “Please, just let me talk with you. I’ve barely _seen_ you lately, Dimitri. Just tell me what is wrong - is that so much to ask?”

Dimitri felt his heart practically drop into his stomach. Horror took over his entire being, his heart pounding in his ears. Oh Goddess, had he...had he been neglecting Ashe? Is that what this was about? Dimitri tried to recount the last time the two had time to themselves, and realized with a chill that he just couldn’t remember. 

“Oh...I have not been attentive of late? I-I did not realize…” Dimitri found himself muttering, eyes wide as he tried to find some way to beg for Ashe’s forgiveness despite knowing perfectly well that he did not deserve it in any capacity. “...oh dear Goddess...I am as terrible at this as I feared…! I am so sorry Ashe...let me know how I can amend for my negligence. W-Whatever you need...I can do whatever you need…”

At some point during Dimitri’s frantic ramblings - Goddess, he hadn’t meant to ramble either, Ashe truly did deserve better - his beloved’s expression had only grown more concerned. Could he even call him that? Did he deserve to refer to him as that anymore?

“That is not what is important - I’ve just been studying all week…” Ashe seemed to be backpedaling now, but he didn’t have to. He shouldn’t have to, Dimitri was the one who should be doing so, anything to get Ashe to smile again. “Just...Dimitri, what is going on? I’m worried about you.”

“There’s no need for that, Ashe.” The response came surprisingly easy - though it really shouldn’t have been. It seemed even his body knew before his mind that Ashe shouldn’t be worrying over him. “Wouldn’t you trust me to tell you if something was wrong? Wouldn’t you…?”

His vision swam again. He could tell he was swaying on his feet, and he managed to steady himself just as Ashe stepped forward to try and help him. Not that he deserved it.

“...oh Ashe, I am sorry…” He tried to take a step forward, tried to brush past Ashe, despite how his head protested at the movement. “I really must be going.”

There was suddenly a hand on his arm. It took Dimitri a moment to process that the hand belonged to Ashe.

“Dimitri...dear, please just _tell_ me what is on your mind,” The pleading tone and endearment made Dimitri stop in his tracks, made him stop and stare at his beloved’s face. “It is extremely late - you can’t be training at this hour.”

Dimitri felt as though he were at war with himself. He wanted to reach out, wanted to allow himself to talk to Ashe, wanted to allow himself to rest with Ashe by his side...wanted to simply be with Ashe.

Yet he couldn’t. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t. He didn’t, he didn’t, he didn’t, the ghosts would scream that forever in his ears and by the Goddess Dimitri knew that he should listen to them. It was the least he owed them.

“Nothing worth discussing. It is never too late to train. Farewell Ashe. Sleep well, and forget about me.”

At the final words he found himself speaking, he knew he had made a mistake. Ashe had recoiled, letting go of his arm...only for the concern on his face to twist into anger. It made Dimitri feel sick to see such an expression on Ashe’s face.

“What...Why can’t you simply tell me what is wrong?!” He spoke, his voice quiet - yet the anger in his words made them ring in Dimitri’s ears as though he had yelled. “I voice my immense concern, I worry for you...and you brush me off, as though it doesn’t matter! I…!”

Suddenly Ashe sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. “I...I’ll be heading to bed. Goodnight.” 

He began to walk away, presumably to his dorm room. Dimitri knew he should let him go, knew he shouldn’t be selfish, yet…

He found himself pushing himself forward, grabbing Ashe by the arm. “W-Wait, I...I can only seem to make a mess of things. What can I do, Ashe? I….I cannot bear to witness the anger on your face, knowing that I am the cause of it. What must I do to earn your forgiveness?”

Ashe stopped in his tracks as soon as Dimitri had grabbed him, seemingly thinking about Dimitri’s words before sighing and turning to face him. There was a softness in his expression that made Dimitri’s heart leap up into his throat.

“You already had it, Mitya…” Ashe paused, seemingly thinking about his words, “I just worry about you. You overwork yourself and...Dimitri, I cannot bear you being hurt in any way. I only wish to know what is bothering you, and to be able to stop it.”

Dimitri’s thoughts swirled around his head. Truly, Ashe was too good for him.

“I only wish to not burden you more than I already have…” Images of stumbling upon Ashe upon waking up after dreams of Duscur plagued his mind, Ashe spending so much time trying to create something Dimitri could truly taste, Ashe, Ashe, Ashe...it all swirled around his mind, cluttering his thoughts and making it even more difficult to think.

“You haven’t burdened me in the slightest!” Ashe’s exclamation broke Dimitri out of his thoughts, staring in shock at his beloved’s face. Ashe took a deep breath, before continuing.

“Dimitri, I love you! Linhardt can second this, as can many others, that I am absolutely mad over you. You make me…” He paused, as though struggling to think of the proper words to use. “You make me the _happiest_. Though I am unaware of the number of times I have and will say it, know I would do anything if it meant making you smile.”

Dimitri stared at Ashe open-mouthed, scarcely able to believe the words Ashe had spoken. Then his eyes averted to the floor, feeling himself wince. Ashe truly was too good for him.

“What have I done to deserve someone as kind and perfect as you, Ashe?” He choked out, feeling the words curl around his throat and constricting what air he could breathe. His voice became quieter as he spoke, a part of him fearing that what Ashe had said was simply a delusion conjured by his mind. “What have I possibly done to even begin returning the joy you have brought into my life? I have done nothing but caused you grief, even from the beginning…”

There was suddenly a hand cupping the side of his face, guiding Dimitri to look at Ashe - who bore a sad yet sweet smile that was all his own. Suddenly Dimitri found he was being tugged into a hug, Ashe’s arms wrapping tightly around him. Dimitri found that his mind had gone completely (and almost blissfully) blank.

“Just being you is enough, really,” Ashe said, so much sincerity and _love_ in his voice that Dimitri felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Perhaps you haven’t returned the joy I’ve given you. What you have done is far more valuable - you’ve given me points to learn from. We only learn from our mistakes, and I believe we both have much to learn - myself especially.”

Ashe’s grip became a bit tighter. Dimitri didn’t mind.

“I love you, Dimitri. You know that, right?”

Dimitri felt tears pricking at his eyes, sobs clawing at his throat, protests dying on his tongue because while he felt he didn’t deserve any of it, he knew Ashe meant what he said - and that knowledge threatened to bring Dimitri to his knees. Perhaps it was this fever ailing Dimitri that made him so weak, made him weakly wrap his arms around Ashe and lean against his beloved as though it were the only thing keeping him anchored to this world-

Though, in a way, it was. 

“I...I love you as well, Ashe...I love you so much,” Dimitri found himself rambling, almost desperate to at least attempt to return the love Ashe so openly gave, even when his legs threatened to give out from underneath him and his vision kept fading from completely black to simply blurry. 

After a long moment of them standing there, simply embracing one another, Ashe slowly stepped away. The concerned frown was back on his face - and as much as Dimitri wished he could brush it away, he was barely able to stay on his own two feet. 

“Please…tell me what’s wrong…” The pleading tone in Ashe’s voice finally broke through, and Dimitri felt himself try, just for a moment, to think of a response that might quell his beloved’s worries…

Yet as he tried, his vision turned dark, and for a brief moment, he felt as if he were weightless...and when his vision returned, he found himself on the ground, only being held upright by Ashe. He didn’t remember falling to his knees like this, nor could he figure out why he didn’t seem to be able to stand on his own.

“Dimitri! Dimitri, are you listening?” The worry in Ashe’s voice was what snapped Dimitri out of his thoughts, and he blinked away the fuzziness - or at least tried, everything seemed to be moving slowly to him. He nodded as best he could though, and Dimitri felt the sigh of relief that went through Ashe at that. “Goddess...I knew you felt warmer than you should have but... to think you felt so terribly that you’d faint...you should have been resting instead of going to train!”

Dimitri felt Ashe slowly pulling him up, and tried his best to cooperate. His head renewed its efforts to torment him, pounding loud in his ears as Ashe helped him to stand, enough that Dimitri swayed on his feet even with Ashe helping him stay standing. Slowly, slowly, Ashe guided him back to his dorm on the first floor - Dimitri couldn’t help but feel relieved. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to make it back up those stairs.

“I...I am truly...truly sorry Ashe…” Dimitri managed to say, even with the words slipping out of his grasp as he tried to form them into a coherent sentence.

“No apologies Mitya,” Ashe said gently, though there was a sadness to it that Dimitri wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not. “Focus on getting better first.”

He helped lay Dimitri down in his bed, and before Dimitri could utter a word of apology for taking his bed, Ashe stopped him.

“I’m more than alright with letting you sleep in my bed here if it means you’re resting. Besides,” and at that Dimitri could see Ashe turn pink, “I...don’t mind sharing with you. We are courting, aren’t we?”

Dimitri could feel himself flush at the thought, for reasons unrelated to his fever. He blinked, and suddenly Ashe was gently placing a wet cloth on his head. Where had he gotten that from? 

“Did I wake you?” Ashe’s voice was quiet as he spoke. “I’m sorry. You need to rest - go back to sleep.”

Ashe smiled. Dimitri felt his heart skip a beat at that.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t fret. You deserve to rest. Now sleep.”

And he did, his heart feeling a little lighter in his chest. 

**Author's Note:**

> bASED ON AN RP THREAD I SAW ON TUMBLR
> 
> Go check out ask-dimitri-alexandre-blaiddyd and asheubert-ask on tumblr, they're the whole reason I wrote this!


End file.
